


Where Loyalties Lie

by kylo-renne (star_wars_drabbles)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: CONTAINS TLJ SPOILERS, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Spoilers, dom/sub themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_wars_drabbles/pseuds/kylo-renne
Summary: I will not put my summary here as it contains some major spoilers for TLJ, it'll be in the notes at the beginning of the first chapter. Here is a spoiler free excerpt "But he wasn’t having that, in fact he was relishing in your flustered reaction – absolutely basking in it. He could do so many things with that pretty blushing face; he couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his lips at the dirtiness of his own thought. Such a pretty face for a pretty girl, meant to be ruined by my hand."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS! Kylo Ren has finally freed himself from the past, and has now become the supreme leader, with that comes the freedom to have something he’s wanted for a long time. He brought you with him from the Jedi temple for a reason, because he didn’t want you to die. To protect you, he kept his true feelings for you buried deep within him and hidden, as you grew to know him as a hard master.

Panic coursed through your veins, you knew better than anyone that Kylo could make impulsive decisions.

“Kylo what have you done?” You burst into his quarters. For the first time in a while, you were afraid, very afraid. You just knew he had something to do with this.

“Old things must die Y/N, you should know that by now,” Kylo stepped closer to you, much closer than you would have expected. You still weren’t used to seeing him without a mask, his stare was so intense, so powerful that it made you feel weak. There was a certain fire in his eyes, a hunger brought on by victory.

“And Y/N, from now on you must address me as Supreme Leader,” Kylo steps closer, and you shiver.

“Yes Supreme Leader,” You straighten, trying to correct your mistake. A surge of arousal courses through Kylo’s veins, emboldening him for his next move.

“Take off your mask,” He commands in that rich honeyed voice of his.

You complied, stray locks falling in front of your face as you lift the metal over your head. Kylo took a deep breath, he had not seen your face in a long time and he had almost forgotten how beautiful it was. “Perfect,” He purred.

Kylo was looking at you a certain way, different from before and it made you feel like you were on fire. You looked down as you felt your face go red, unable to meet his eyes any longer.

But he wasn’t having that, in fact he was relishing in your flustered reaction – absolutely basking in it. He could do so many things with that pretty blushing face; he couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his lips at the dirtiness of his own thought. _Such a pretty face for a pretty girl, meant to be ruined by my hand._

He took your chin in his gloved hand, examining your face carefully and forcing you to meet his gaze. His hand slid up to cup your cheek and his gaze softened, “Y/N, don’t let your trust falter, I will give you more than you could ever dream of then with Snoke.”

“But the resistance-“ You let your fear speak for itself.

“Will be crushed, in due time.” He caressed your cheek.

“Kylo-“ You sucked in a breath.

“I have something to discuss with you later, I want you to stay here,”

“In your quarters?”

“Yes, you need to rest,”

“But Supreme Leader I-“

“Rest.” Kylo interrupts you. “And if you don’t I will find out,” He warns. When he left the room you sighed.

You didn’t know what was going to happen to you, if Kylo was going to kill you like he had with others from his past or give you a role that you weren’t ready for. And what was that just then? He had never done anything like that before, even when he used to go as Ben he had always been distant almost cold towards you.

Despite his distance, you admired the man. He had the strength with the force that you could only dream of, you still felt like a novice in comparison to his skill level. Now, he had truly proven how powerful he was and you were afraid. At the same time, you felt a sense of pride at his victory and that you had chosen to follow the right person.

You wished to be with him now, by his side and probably in battle with the resistance. It didn’t feel right to be ‘resting’ in a time like this, but Kylo was the Supreme Leader now and you dared not go against him. You just wondered why he wanted to stay behind, usually he always put you in the front lines and in the center of action.

Something had changed in him with you, but you didn’t know what.

It was the middle of the night when Kylo returned, exhausted with defeat. He was welcomed with the pleasant sight of you in his room, fast asleep at his desk. The steady rise and fall of your form brought him a sense of calm, he was relieved that you were safe.

He wanted to go to you, take you and rest you on his bed as he knew the desk was not a suitable place for you to sleep. But for now he needed a moment, and a shower.

You didn’t wake until Kylo came out of the shower, opening your eyes to see him still dripping and only in a towel. Your eyes widened as you realized you were still in his room, you felt like you didn’t belong here. You got up and tried to sneak out of the room as he searched in his drawer for some clothes. You couldn’t even look on him, you felt completely on fire. You felt ashamed, you shouldn’t be feeling this way towards the Supreme Leader. You just hoped he hadn’t sensed your desire.

“Just where are you going?” Kylo asked you.

“I need to get back to my room, I don’t want to disturb your rest Supreme Leader,” You rushed out, looking at the floor to avoid seeing his bare chest. Still, you snuck a quick glance, mouth parting as your heart race. Just looking at that wall of muscle made you feel like he was going to swallow you whole, and you almost wanted him to. You wanted to feel like it was like to be under someone so powerful.

Kylo smirked at you, enjoying the lust rolling off of you in waves. Oh he had so many fun plans for you. He had been waiting for this for so long, and although he was almost desperate just to have you he had to be patient. He had earned your admiration, but now he wanted your love. Respect wasn’t enough for him anymore.

“You don’t need to call me Supreme Leader in private, unless I say otherwise,” His eyes glitter with dark promises. In one stride he’s a foot away from you, blocking you from the door. “Stay,” He says softly.

You can feel his pain when he says that, and you know then that he needs you here. “Okay,” You murmur.

Kylo hums in approval of your decision, “I will get you something more comfortable to wear.” From his drawers Kylo pulls out a black silk nightgown, finer than anything the First Order would give for sleep garments.

“Why do you have that?” Your brows furrow in confusion.

Kylo didn’t want to tell you that he had gotten it for you, after seeing it one day and wishing that he could see you in it. He didn’t want to scare you off with the intensity of his feelings, of which you had no awareness of.

“Someone left it behind,” He lied, there was no one but you.

“Oh,” You barely concealed your disappointment. Though Kylo was pleased by your reaction, the feeling of your hurt stung. Someday he’d explain that it was all for you. You take the nightgown, trying to hide your distress of having to wear something that someone who had slept with Kylo had worn.

But the way that Kylo looks at you when you come out makes you forget about the other woman, the way he looks at you makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the galaxy. Your face is flush as you realize that you haven’t revealed this much skin in front of him for a long time and you were a child then, now you had matured.

Kylo had underestimated just how much you had changed over the years, though he remembered the many nights where he hid his hand under the sheets at the sight of your developing body it was nothing compared to how tantalizing you looked in the black lace. He had wished he put on more than just his tight briefs, as they did nothing to conceal his hard on. He was fairly certain you had noticed with the pink in your cheeks, but knew you’d be to afraid to say anything.

You were beginning to wonder what changed to make him look at you this way, he had never shown such passion towards you. Normally he was cold and shut off, or angry.

Despite how much he longed to tear the dress off of you, Kylo could clearly see the fatigue in your eyes and he was feeling that even more so. He’d rather be more awake so that he could enjoy every second of ravishing you. “Come now, it’s time for rest,” Kylo gently led you to his bed, hand just brushing over your lower back.

You looked at him with uncertainty, before he pulled back the sheets for you and gestured for you to get in. He pulled them back up to cover you, which was a surprise. It was such a simple and kind action that you did not expect, you didn’t understand this sudden display of care. The bed dipped as Kylo laid down besides you and you could feel the warmth radiating off him, which you were thankful for as the night gown wasn’t warm enough for space.

Kylo turned to face you, and the reality came crashing down that you were in bed with him. The feeling that you shouldn’t be here returned. “Don’t be afraid Y/N, you’re safe here,” Kylo reassured you, lightly brushing his knuckles over your cheek. You shivered at his touch and subconsciously inched closer to him as he was a source of warmth. _Pretty girl_ you heard Kylo’s voice say in your head, you thought you were hearing things.

You and Kylo gazed at one another until your eyes fell shut, this was the beginning of something new.


	2. Chapter 2

“No!” A shout awoke you from your slumber. You willed your tired eyelids to open, rubbing them as they adjusted to the darkness. It was still night, and you weren’t in your own bed. You felt something heavy draped across your waist, something muscular resting between your legs. _Oh, it was Kylo_ you remembered.

That could only mean that he was having a nightmare, just like the ones he used to have as a kid. He’d come to you in the middle of the night, crying and in distress as he missed his mother. You’d let him sleep next to you those nights, so he wouldn’t feel so alone. Little Ben Solo would clutch your hand tightly, eyes wide with fear as you assured him that his family still loved him even with his strange powers. 

As you got older those nights ceased, but seeing Kylo in the throes of his nightmare made you wonder if he had always had them. He was crying too, you could just make it out with the blue light from his charging datapad. “No! No, don’t hurt her!” He panicked. You assumed that he was dreaming about his mother again.

Gently, you shook him awake. Kylo took in a sharp breath as he jolted awake, sitting up in a cold sweat. His chest falling rapidly as he came back from his dream, seeing you in front of him bringing him to reality. _Thank stars she’s okay_ , more tears fell as he looked at you. He was sure that he had lost you forever, yet here you were right in front of him and in his bed nonetheless.

“It’s okay Kylo, it was just a dream,” You said that knowing that with the force that was a false assurance. But he welcomes your comfort, pulling you against him in a hug as he buries his face in your neck. You can feel the wetness of his tears against your skin, it makes your heart drop. You soothe him by gently running your hand at his hair, marveling how soft it was.

“I’m here Kylo, I’m here,” You murmured. Kylo sighed, he needed to hear that. You always knew what to say to him in times of such distress.

He missed this, missed having you close. He forgot what it was like to be this close to someone, your simple caressing of his hair bringing him to tears alone. He didn’t know something so small could feel so good, make him feel so loved. He had deprived himself from this through his protection of you. But with his dream, he knew your safety was more important. It always would be.

You hand still as you drifted off back to sleep, which Kylo was grateful for as you were still in his arms. He needed that reminder of your presence if he was ever to sleep again, which he was severely lacking over the past week. The small picture of you as a kid had sufficed for many years to comfort him, but now experiencing what it was like to hold you - he could never go back.

After that night many things had changed for you in the First Order. First and foremost you were promoted to Commander, which was surprising considering that you thought the other Knights were far more suitable candidates.

“Commander, what do you think?” Was a question you never thought you’d hear, much less be able to answer. You never saw yourself reaching that level of power, especially since Kylo was the one who held it. With his role as Supreme Leader, many things change.

Kylo made many military decisions that Hux normally would make, he was a much more involved leader than Snoke was. And in a way, he garnered more respect that way. There were rumors floating around that he had killed Snoke, and though anyone who actually stated the fact would be executed it gave Kylo a certain reputation to be feared.

He never dispelled any of your suspicions at what he had done, never truly answered your original question. But you told him you would trust him, and trust him you did. With the Resistance whittled down to a small group, you had faith that Kylo would be able to finish them off. And you looked forward to it, looked forward to the day the war ended and the galaxy could finally have peace. But for now you had more important matters to take care of.

“General Hux, just why did you find it appropriate to question the Supreme Leader on the bridge?” You crossed your hands behind your back. This was one of the benefits of your new role, telling off the General.

He was probably the one who had the worst adjustment to the change, still mourning the loss of Starkiller Base. You knew that he was angry at Kylo, and you planned on keeping a careful eye on him. You wouldn’t let anyone harm the Supreme Leader, or betray him. He had enough of that in his life already.

There were a number of traitors revealed after the change in leadership, all of which who were dealt with brutally by Kylo’s hand. He showed no mercy as he ruthlessly wielded his power, earning the title of Supreme Leader. You admired him all the more for it.

As you walked through the destroyer, baring your maskless face with pride, you would occasionally run into Kylo. Though he was in the throne room more often, he made many visits throughout the day and seeing you was always on his list. You worried that maybe he thought you weren’t able to perform your new role efficiently, but with the praise he’s given you those doubts subsided.

“Yes my commander, your new title suits you nicely,” Kylo would say, reassuring you. He knew you had doubts, and he wanted you to be confident in yourself. “And if anyone says otherwise, let me know. I have a few words for them,” He frowned, a threat in his tone.

Sometimes it was difficult not to wear a mask himself, but then Kylo reminded himself that those thoughts were of the past. If he was to get what he wanted his face had to be a mask, he couldn’t show any weakness as Supreme Leader. It was worth it though to see your face, your eyes which carried so much passion behind them - just the calculated precision; he loved seeing them. And your face was just _so pretty_ , how could he not want to gaze upon it?

In the end what had changed the most was your relationship with Kylo, in many ways it was similar to the connection you had as kids - that you thought you had lost. It was like you were rekindling an old friendship, you had realized that you missed this. You felt yourself becoming stronger the more time you spent with him, your doubts about your new role lessening.

Even if he wasn’t by your side, he was always with you. If not physically through the force, guiding you through the day. But he did prefer to be there, to see you and feel your presence. You’d often feel him reaching out for you, a sort of nervous energy entering your mind. You’d acknowledge him ‘ _Yes Supreme Leader_?’ and he’d reply with praise.

He loved hearing you call him that, just the power behind it alone brought him joy. The fact that he now had the control of the First Order, that he was _your leader_ enchanted him.

There were small changes as well, like your wardrobe. You shed some of your armor in place of finer fabrics, all black like Kylo’s had been. Sometimes he cursed himself at your new uniform, how it was tailored perfectly to your body. If you weren’t wearing the coat over your jumpsuit, he could see how well your breasts and ass pressed against the fabric. It’d be so easy just to feel them through the quilted fabric, and he fantasized of doing so.

And if you bent over, oh force have mercy. That’s when he’d have to leave the room, he could hardly stand the sight of it. Seeing that made him want to bend you over the console, press his cock against your plush ass as he whispered filthy things into your ear. _My commander, your little ass fits so perfectly against my cock, just made to be slapped._

Kylo lost himself in his fantasy, until your voice startled him. Eyes dark and pupils blown with lust he looked at you hungrily, you weren’t wearing the jacket today. Your belt with your lightsaber perfectly accentuated your waist, tempting him to grab you and pull him to him. “Yes Commander?” Kylo queried.

The way he was looking at you made your request die on your lips, “I-I….I’m sorry I seem to have forgotten.”

Kylo chuckled, “That’s quite alright Commander, if you need me you know how to contact me,” Kylo tapped his forehead. You stood mouth agape as he walked off, normally he’d be furious at such incompetence but with you he appeared to be...smirking.

These were you days with Kylo, your nights were far less pleasant. The nightmares seemed to be more and more frequent, and he was visiting you a few times a week. At first he’d just simply check on you, making sure that you were still there sound asleep in your room - still safe. One night he woke you, the relief of seeing you safe making him sob. He could hardly bear the torture of seeing you suffer so much in his dreams, it was eating him alive and the only way to stop them would be a breach of your friendship which he had recently regained.

“Kylo?” You ask. The shadow in your doorway seemed oddly familiar, and the violent swirling of the force around him only reaffirmed your thought.

He didn’t say a word, silently slinking over to the other side of your bed. He grumbled at the fact that it was much smaller than his, but when he realized it left no room for him to not be close to you he appreciated it. “Was it another nightmare?” You voiced to the darkness, Kylo was at your back and you were too tired to turn over.

“Yes,” Kylo sighed. “Just go back to sleep,” He pulled the sheets over him. Those nights meant waking up entangled in his thick arms, that trapped you again him. His breath at your neck as he slept peacefully behind you. If he woke up before you, he’d still be there. Simply watching you with a calm expression with his arm still around you. And if you’d turn to face him, he’d smile softly at you.

“May the force be with you Kylo,” You’d say as he left. You were too good for him, Kylo thought. He never thought anyone could make him feel this elated.

“And with you, my sweet commander.”


End file.
